Jun 13, 2012
Divorced dads today have more rights than ever before, especially when it comes to the care, love and maintenance of the children. A divorced dad’s rights are practically the same as a single mom’s rights after he has established paternity of the child. He cannot exercise parental rights until this has been done. If this has not yet been established he can still claim paternity if he was married to the child’s mother during the time the child was conceived as it is presumed then that he is the biological father. If he was not married to the child’s mother he will have to establish paternity through the state’s Office of Child Support Enforcement (OCSE) which will allow him to request visitation as well as his right to support the child.
A divorced dad has the following rights
• He has the right to an ongoing relationship with the child, and without interference where he can have contact, and spend weekends and holidays with him or her.
• He has the right to see his children on weekends and during the summer holidays when they can have late nights and sleep-over at his house.
• He has the right to attend the children’s concerts and presentations and any school events as well as parents’ night.
• He has the right to provide financial support for the child. Fathers who don’t want to pay support for a child can end up in jail. The rules are strict when it comes to deadbeat dads.
• He has the right to prevent third-party adoption. What this means is that if the father is unmarried and his ex-wife is pregnant with a child he believes is his, he can prevent the adoption of that child to a third party.
• A divorced dad has the right to make decisions with his ex wife regarding the education, religion, medical care and upbringing of the child – which faith the child will follow and which church or synagogue or mosque the child will attend and on which Saturdays or Sundays. There is much written about a divorced dad’s rights on the internet if you want to learn more. Go online and find out.
After a long cold winter it is time to freshen up your house by giving it a thorough cleaning. Here are some easy things to do to keep your house looking fresh and new:
• Do the outside chores first by cleaning up and removing any rubble in the yard and at the side of the house. Have your kids help as there are many small things they can pick up.
• Pick up dog poop which have accumulated, put it in a plastic bag and then in the bin.
• Remove all the old blankets and towels of the dog and wash them separately from your clothes. Hang the dog’s towels out on the line so they can look and smell fresh.
• On a hot day hose the kennel down inside and out and let it dry out before you put clean blankets and towels in the kennel.
• Fix broken tiles on the roof and check your gutters for leaves. While you are up on the roof check that there are no loose tiles and no leaks.
• Stand on the opposite site of the road and see the house from a distance the way other people would see it. If there is rubbish on the porch or old brooms and spades and broken gardening equipment, get rid of it.
• Put your budgies or parrots in the bathroom where the window is closed while you clean the parrot’s cage.
• Check the interior of the kitchen and bathroom to see if there are leaking taps and if your bathroom can do with a quick paint to freshen it up. You would be surprised by what a fresh coat of paint can do.
• Check your driveway for spots you intended to fill up with cement.
• Check your fencing and your gates to make sure there is no rust.
• Fix the garage door that you have been planning to do for a long time.
• Fix the cracks on the wooden stairs and give it a coat of paint before the summer ends.
If your daughter is behind the computer all the time talking to boys on the phone and on Skype and meeting them behind your back, it is time the two of you have a talk. She is too young to put herself out there and is not aware of the danger she is subjecting herself to. Besides the danger which is the biggest concern, she should be with kids her own age and not messing around with boys.
Advice to Mom
• Ask your daughter to switch off the computer and come to the bedroom as you want to talk to her. However angry you are that she is behaving in this way, do not shout, scream or say something nasty you will regret.
• Spell out the danger of meeting strange boys in strange places and becoming a victim of rape or assault. Point to recent cases on television where investigators are looking for a dead body of a girl who was raped after getting in the car of a stranger.
• Appeal to her common sense. Tell her she is a big girl now and that there are certain things she just cannot do, and meeting boys behind your back or looking for boys on the internet is not proper behavior for a twelve year old.
• Tell her there is no way you are going to allow outings with boys she has met on the internet and that she is banned using the computer for a month. If she defies you there will be more consequences.
• If she has reached puberty, give her the puberty talk about hormones and bodily changes and tell her without mincing words that she is able to get pregnant now and should stay away from boys who are older than her. She just cannot be friends with a seventeen year old.
• Take your daughter out for a movie or something she wants to do and have a chat with her again. Tell her that if she shows interest in her school work and behaves her age that you will allow her use of the computer for an hour after school even though she is banned.
• Let her watch one of those Maury programs where young girls are pregnant, don’t know the name of the father of the baby, and have been ostracized by their friends. Let her speak to them and let them tell her how hard it is to be a single mother and if she wants that for herself.
• Tell her also that if she uses the computer again looking for boys to talk to that you will remove the computer as well as the television from her room and she will be penalized further.
This is tough love, Mom. This is a high risk age she is in. There are pedophiles on the streets; you can’t trust anyone. You don’t want to have this talk after something bad has happened.
As a Muslim I am deeply insulted to read an article by Madan Singh on spotless virgins in Islam and regretful also that no Muslims have challenged this article. The article is provocative, untrue and casts a dark light on Islam. I will go as far as to say that if Muslims actually believe it, it is a sorry day indeed, and I will become an atheist if any scrap of this article is indeed the Word of God.
In a nutshell, the article claims that combs of gold and virgins are given to men who reach paradise. In other words, the foundation of Islam is based on sensual pleasure when all through the Holy Qur’an God talks of chastity, charity, piety, and modesty.
• While the author of this article mentioned earlier is right about the hadiths as the words of the Prophet Muhamad from God, all Muslims know that there are thousands of hadiths – sayings by the Prophet – which are true, and also those which have puzzled theologians who have to sift through these hadiths and separate the chaff from the wheat. God is not a pimp. The Quran asks us to use common sense and if there is ever a dispute over a hadith, it has to be thoroughly researched. Hadiths are so carefully researched and examined, that if there is a dispute, one must take the answer from the pages of the Quran and dismiss the validity of the hadith.
• Muslims know this and so do non Muslims. To state that every man will have 72 virgins, would make the Hereafter appear like a haven for sex. If this untruth is used for the purpose of converting people to Islam, it is wrong and also untrue as God states clearly in the Quran that there is no compunction in religion. A man should not be bribed to believe and you must not interfere with his faith.
• My third point is that God has a whole section on the rights of women and even allowed plural marriage so that a woman who has children and no husband can be protected and her children looked after.
• The article states further that for the believers there are combs of gold and spotless virgins. God is not interested in material things. All of the Hereafter is about your soul and what you have done for mankind; it is not tainted by worldly possessions and a man’s sexual strength. To intimate that Islam has a sexual foundation is a huge insult to believers in Islam.
Let me end this argument by saying that while the Arabic written word is the same for all printed Qurans, and is original, that there are translations also by specific scholars where things have been added. In my own hands I had a small copy of the Quran which were handed out to new converts. When I read the parts about the virgins and the combs of gold in this little Quran, I spoke to an imam about it. He said he did not know the answer and had not come across it. He was too afraid to stick his neck out and say more. It is one thing if you don’t understand; it is another thing to hand out Qur’ans where the translations have been tampered with.
In conclusion, Islam is a deeply spiritual religion and God is fair to both women and men. Use common sense. Would God provide sexual pleasure for men as a reward and give nothing to women? I ask you to read any portion of the Qur’an as translated by Yusuf Ali, and tell me if God is unfair. Sexual pleasure is not the bedrock of Islam. And all the hadiths are not authentic. Any Muslim scholar will tell you this. Combs of gold, sweat smelling like musk, 72 wives and 80,000 servants is not God’s language. It is the language of those who want to taint Islam.